A while back I was just like the rest, well, for the most part. Just like everyone else, I went with the flow or rather was carried by it. From a young age I traveled and lived all around the world, which enabled me to develop incredible observation skills. This naturally developed into an absolute fascination with psychology. I wanted to understand why people did what they did, why did I see the same pattern repeating throughout different countries, cultures, and people?! Most importantly, I was intrigued as to why all the successful, accomplished, well-off people that I was surrounded by growing up were so unhappy and miserable deep down.

Fast forward fifteen years, life pulled the rug from under me. I had a great life, the typical overachiever type, I had two university degrees, spoke several languages, lived in a fantastic place, great family life, and boom, my father suddenly passed away. He was there, and then one morning he wasn’t. I will never forget that phone call, the shock I felt throughout my whole body, the tears that began to roll down my face without fully comprehending what I had just heard. I did not know it then but this was the beginning of the best part of my life.

The following months I began to experience some health issues, a year later depression hit me hard. You would think that a person who studied psychology since the age of 13 would be able to handle something as simple as depression, right? I certainly thought so, yet not only was I not able to get myself out of it, I lived in complete denial of it for way too long. You see, it did not match my identity, the picture-perfect, smart, strong, self-sufficient person that I saw myself as, depression didn’t fit into that.

However, another quality that I liked to identify with was being a fighter. I don’t give up. Depression was no exception, sure I couldn’t do much during the very bad episodes, but as soon as it loosened its grip over me, I would go at my mind full on with all I had, including CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and other physiological tools. Then one day I was free! Did psychology do it’s thing? Not exactly.

What happened that day? It happened the day that followed a weekend-long very heavy depressive episode. I did a long session of CBT on myself the night before, persistently proving to my mind that it was completely wrong. Looking back, I think my mind was completely exhausted and didn’t have the strength to fight me on anything at that point. The next morning I distinctively remember googling “living in the now” and thinking “what the hell kind of hippie crap am I typing in?” In retrospect, this was my intuition and guidance coming through (not that I knew what that even was at the time). After a few minutes, I somehow was guided towards Ho’oponopono.

A pretty simple straight-forward practice, that consists of four simple phrases “I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.” turned out to be the death of me. I am not exaggerating. After weeping for over an hour, not being able to get through “I am sorry” ( 100 % personal responsibility was not a concept I was familiar, nor comfortable with at the time) Anna died. The wall I spent years building, from my very childhood, broke down, and there was nothing left.

What followed this experience was three weeks of profound bliss. A feeling of deep connection with all things. My understanding of things, way of thinking, and perspective were unrecognizable. From that point onward, books, teachings, concepts started coming into my life, without me actually looking for them.

My life shifted entirely. Among the major changes was my coming out of the closet in regards to my clairvoyance, which I had switched off at the age of 9, as well as embracing my calling to shamanic practices. The most difficult part was confessing what I have been hiding from the people closest to me. After all, we are only as sick as our secrets. Was it easy? Hell no! It was a period of many uncomfortable conversations, conversations that I was terrified of, but it didn’t seem like I had much of a choice. This was no joke, my stomach still turns as I remember that time of my life. I was fully stepping into my authenticity. I was accepting and loving myself, all of me, so much that I was willing to face rejection from those dearest to me, as long as it meant being 100% honest and authentic with myself. I knew this life wouldn’t be my own if I didn’t live it as my true, most powerful self.

Fast forward many months, days, hours of inner work, learning, teaching, coaching, here we are. Today I am a certified transformation coach who supports others in their own transformation. I know, without a doubt, that all the knowledge you need or will ever need is already yours. The key is learning how to tune into that part of yourself.